A man places a head of lettuce in the middle of a round table.
     I've been assigned the role of understudy to this
vegetable, he says to his dog. I mean to take it seriously.
The dog stops chewing its round ball.
     I should have opted for the-all-expense-paid house-
wrecking-night, the dog says, not moving from under the
table. Remember the avocado, the emergency counseling
you needed?
The man pulls his round chair closer, stares intently at the
pale green head.
     Its soliloquy at the audition made everyone weep, says
the man, Even the onions.
     Ah, let's mosey forward, shall we, to the terrifying
moment you drop your first line. That'll take the play out
of play.
Further in the man leans, his nose almost touching the
lettuce.
     Look how the head's perfect roundness pulsates. It must
be preparing for its next triumphant entry…

Volume 1, Issue 2, 2007